so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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