No, you can still breathe under the balls.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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