the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
