seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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