Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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