Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
