If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize