how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
