ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
