hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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