It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
