Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
