Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
