Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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