Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Michael Bay diarrhea
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
