Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
