My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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