yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
