mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
