Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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