no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
