i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
