please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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