We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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