You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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