bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I forget how to act sober
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
