I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
