I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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