I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
birth control should be required to get into college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
