Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
