I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She needs sedatives and a leash
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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