she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize