I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
