Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
