What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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