Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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