Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
