we have officially lost it.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
