Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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