as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Text me some of your sweat
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
