mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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