To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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