I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
