New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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