Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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