the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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