But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
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don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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