i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize