My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize