Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize