You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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