i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
