Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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