I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Don't make out with my wife yet
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
