Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
