yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize