My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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