Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
