that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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